I did something last Saturday night that I was really afraid to do.
I slept alone under the stars in the wilderness.
I love camping and being outside but when the invitation came to do this vision quest it really scared me… and so I knew I had to do it.
As we were heading up into the mountains on Saturday morning, I found myself in nervous chatty conversation with the other women in the group. I felt anxious and kind of out of my body, you know the feeling I’m talking about?
We hiked into a beautiful meadow and set up our group camp and then were sent to find a place away from the group where we each would spend the night, alone.
As I walked the land feeling into the right place for me, I was called to a hill really far away from the meadow. My mind kept saying “don’t you want to stay a little closer? At least within ear shot of the other women… please?” But my body persisted in pulling me further and further away, so I bushwhacked to the top of the hill.
And you know what surprised me? Once I got there, I wasn’t scared.
I had had so much fear the week before in anticipation. I expected to be up all night, listening to every sound, terrified.
Instead I had this feeling of total welcoming. Like it was the most natural thing in the world for me to be camping up there alone.
And as I spent the night looking up at the stars, I felt this deeper sense of trust coming through me.
Trust in my body. Trust in myself. Trust like I had never felt before.
I felt a calling to be totally and completely true to myself.
Authentically me in everything I do. In everything I say.
I realized that I had been compartmentalizing my life. The nature girl didn’t fit with the business woman. The irreverent jokester wasn’t allowed to mingle with the spiritual seeker. The woman who loved to sing was too frivolous for the relationship coach and teacher. I would show certain parts to some people but not to others – gauging which part would be the most accepted and liked in each situation.
On that hill, alone in the dark, I felt all of these parts integrating and learning to love each other. I felt this sense of coming home to me.
And I realized that I’ve only been sharing parts of myself with you, too. That I’ve been holding back on what I really want to talk about. What I really want to share.
Holding back out of fear.
So here’s what I know to be true.
I KNOW deep down that what I genuinely want to talk about, to share with you, is…
how to trust yourself more deeply
how to love yourself more fully
how to dive into the depths of your fear and swim through to the other side knowing all of yourself.
Loving all of yourself.
Because when you do that. You WILL have more love in your love in your life. Period.
And your life will change as a result.
That’s what I want to teach.
That’s what I want to share.
That’s what I authentically feel in this moment.
I feel called, inspired, lit up… to work with women who feel a deep yearning to connect with themselves. Women who can’t wait to fall madly in love with themselves. Women who hear the calling of their soul and want to be pulled deeper into THAT place.
Women who understand that the craving for love from the outside can only truly be satisfied by love from the inside.
Does your heart long for you to come home? Is your soul begging you for union?
I’d love to hear from you, please share your heart below.
I have 2 spots in my private practice for women who feel this call. Send me an email from your heart if it feels like one of them is for you.
Here’s to fear and the opening it brings…