The Energetic Matchmaker, Liesel Rigsby
Learn 5 essential tools to making space for love.

Feeling not enough

Do you ever feel like you’re not enough?

You’re not alone.

If you’ve been with me a little while you know my road to being happily married (for 20 years this month!) did not start out easily.

My relationship history is messy.

Over and over, I gave up my sense of self to morph into what I thought the current partner wanted me to be.

Just being me wasn’t enough.

Age 16 dated a jock – feigned extreme interest in baseball (yawn) – wore the team jersey – kept stats at every game – stopped hanging out with my girlfriends – spent every waking moment obsessed with him and… baseball.

Age 18 along comes a surfer – again ignored my friends – free time hanging out in the surf shop – smoked a lot of weed – learned all the lingo – woke up a dawn to watch him surf.

Age 23 – a grunge rocker – dyed my hair burgundy – bought Doc Martens and a bunch of flannels – got a tattoo – learned how to navigate mosh pits – lots of black eyeliner.

Age 25 – fell in love with a sailor – spent a ridiculous amount of money getting my hair back to blond  – wore white pants – weekends at yacht clubs racing sailboats – even wore a respirator and sanded down the hull of his boat (absolutely miserable).

The underlying belief in all of these relationships was

If I want to be loved I need to…

– be what he wants

– do what he’s into

And under that was a core belief:

I’m not enough.

It wasn’t until I finally took the time to be single and do some deep inner work that I began to accept all the parts of myself. Then, and only then, could I actually have a relationship where I was fully met as me.

My question for you today is:

What would be different in your life if you knew you were enough just as you are?

What would change? How would you show up?

Drop me a quick line and tell me your thoughts. I’d love to hear!

Here are some of the steps I took to get from ‘not enough’ to fully being myself.