The Energetic Matchmaker, Liesel Rigsby
Learn 5 essential tools to making space for love.

Impact of Early Beliefs on Your Love Life

A story of how your early beliefs can impact your love life…

Books clutched to her chest, shoulders rolled forward, 13 year Lisa walks down the crowded hallway to her locker. Pushing her thick glasses up onto the bridge of her nose, she sees her secret crush, Paul, a few lockers down.

Remembering her mom’s pep talk about smiling, she decides to be brave. Taking a deep breath, she waves at Paul and gives him a big smile, keeping her lips closed tight over her braces.

He looks at her, frowns and leans over to whisper to his friend. The friend looks over at Lisa and laughs, elbowing Paul in the ribs.

Lisa ducks her head into her locker and quickly wipes at her eyes with the back of her arm.

She should have known that Paul, a cute 8th grader, is way out of her league and could never like her, a dorky 7th grader.

But none of the other boys like her either. Not even the geeky ones.

In that moment, she decides that something must be really wrong with her:

She’s ugly and weird.

She’ll never be good enough for any guy, let alone someone like Paul.


This memory came up recently in a private session with Lisa* an attractive, intelligent, successful woman in her 40’s.

Lisa had uncovered a subconscious belief that she’s not good enough for a great partner.

And even though, by all accounts, she’s now a great catch, the inner 13 year old was still running the show when it came to her love life.

This belief that she’s not good enough for guys to be interested in her got anchored into her subconscious during her early teens, and she’d been playing it out ever since

Interacting with men as if she was still an awkward adolescent.

As we worked together to bring love, acceptance, and support to her 13 year old self, the old belief faded and was replaced with a deep knowing of her true worth.

Lisa is already seeing changes in the way that men respond to her.

She’s gone from feeling invisible to noticing men smiling at her and giving extended eye contact on a regular basis.

Her confidence is getting stronger every day as she steps more fully into her worth.


Are you ready to bring some healing to the parts of you that don’t feel worthy, [First Name]?

Here are a few steps towards healing that not good enough feeling:

1. Look back in your history and ask yourself ‘when did I decide I wasn’t good enough’?

2. Write down memories or moments in time where you felt unworthy or not good enough.

3. Bring love, from you here and now, to that younger version of yourself and let her know how much you love her and how worthy she really is.

4. Repeat for each memory, ideally doing at least one a day until you start to feel a shift.

Let me know what it felt like if you gave it a try!

Sending love to the younger you,

*name changed for privacy