Align With Love

Tomorrow is my 45th birthday.

When I was younger I would throw myself big parties and stretch my birthday out for as long as possible – usually the entire month of January if I could manage it.

I am an Aquarian with a Leo rising after all…

But for the past several years I’ve spent this birthday time going more inward than outward. It’s become a time to reflect, to set intentions, to dig in to myself.

And 5 minutes ago I just committed to doing a retreat this weekend that will have me digging in deep.

In fact I’ll be facing one of my bigger fears. This Saturday night I’ll be sleeping alone in the wilderness – without even a tent.

And I’m scared.

And excited.

You see I have this thing about fear. I’ve learned that when I’m afraid of something, really afraid… it’s an opportunity to explore a part of myself. And it’s usually a part of me that has some hidden gem within it.

When I was single I was terrified of being old and alone.

When I got married I was sure that my husband Craig would die.

When I was pregnant I was afraid of losing my child.

AND I had read enough New Age books to believe that if I gave my fear a voice, or even a thought, then I was going to manifest it. I was intent on staying positive and not ever looking at anything I didn’t want to have happen in my life.

But the truth was, the fear was already there. I wasn’t creating it by speaking it. I was pulling it out of the closet where it had been hiding and undermining me for years.

Through the years I went into each one of those fears. I explored the darkness and I found a part of myself that had been bound up in all the energy it took to hold back the fear, to try and keep it at bay.

What I found was:

When you are willing to speak your biggest fears aloud…

When you can look them straight in the eye and say “I see you”…

When you really imagine what your life would be like if that fear actually came true…

That is the moment you set yourself free.

So this weekend, while I’m sleeping alone in the wilderness (probably thinking about Mountain Lions and packs of Coyotes), will you join me in facing one of your fears? Will you dive into the darkness with me and say “I see you”.

If you’re not ready that’s ok. Be gentle with yourself and trust in your own prefect timing.

But if you are ready, if there’s a part of you that can’t be ignored any more – start with this.

Write the fear down. Look at the words. Feel your body. Then write out the very worst case scenario.

There. You’ve said it.

You’ve looked at it. You’ve actually taken a lot of it’s power away just by being willing to witness it.

Now ask yourself, what then? What would happen after that? What would I do then? Who would I be?

(If you start to feel overwhelmed just bring in some EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique). I’ve included a video for you describing what to do here.)

And then maybe we’ll meet up in the morning, different somehow. Freer, more open, maybe even more in love with our lives. Let me know in the comments below how it goes…