The Energetic Matchmaker, Liesel Rigsby
Learn 5 essential tools to making space for love.

How to love what you’re ashamed of

A while ago I taught an intimate workshop about opening your heart fully to receive the gift of love.

One of the most powerful exercises had to do with the parts we’re ashamed of in ourselves. Past actions, personality traits, parts that we don’t want other people to know about or see.

The things that we’re afraid make us unlovable.

How about you? What parts of yourself are you ashamed of?

Is there a past event that keeps you up at night? A mistake that you wish you could take back?

Something that happened to you that feels like it tarnished you?

Do you have parts of you that you’re sure are unlovable?

The natural reaction is to push these parts away. Hide them. Ignore them. Bury them.

But the problem is, the more you push these parts of yourself away, the more they subconsciously act up and sabotage you.

The shame keeps your heart closed… protected… sealed off.

And then you don’t know how to let Love find you.

So I want to share a meditation with you to help you actually embrace those parts.

Love those parts.

Let them in – so they stop lurking in the shadows and wreaking havoc with the shame.


Start by closing your eyes, sitting with your spine straight and taking a few long slow deep breaths.

Now bring your attention into the area of your heart.

Take a few minutes to really feel your heart.

What do you notice? Is it relaxed? Tight? Heavy? Light?

Really pay attention to it for a few minutes and notice if there’s a part of you that wants to check out. Not feel it. Not go in there.

That’s ok. Just notice it. No judgment.

Now imagine a light in the middle of your heart. Give that light a color. Let that light begin to expand and fill your chest.

Now think of one part of you or past event that you feel shame about.

Let yourself acknowledge it and feel it. If it’s a past trauma you don’t need to go into the memory of it just name it.

Imagine that part of you, that time in your life. Imagine it in front of your heart.

Now let that color from your heart expand. Let it reach out to this ‘shameful’ part and embrace it, surround it, envelope it.

Let that color in your heart wrap around this ‘shameful’ part and draw it in.

Let it pull this part right into the middle of your heart.

See how much you can let in.

See how much you can love this part right now in this moment with no judgment.

Just acceptance.

Just Love.

Stay with this feeling for as long as feels natural.

Then take a few long slow deep breaths. And open your eyes.

Congratulate yourself for being brave enough to let this part you’ve been hiding into your heart.

For beginning to love all the parts of you – not just the nice ones.

When you do this then you can love all the parts in another as well. A great skill for your deep soul relationship with your love…