I was on a call recently with a new private coaching client. She shared that she couldn’t even imagine being in a great relationship with a man. She’d never had a healthy partnership, and over the years she had begun to believe that it just wasn’t possible for her. She felt stuck in love.
Her primary feeling was: “If it was going to happen, he would’ve already shown up by now”.
The belief that love was never going to happen for her had been playing in the background for years. Thankfully, some part of her knew things could be different, and she reached out for help.
Without an internal shift, these stuck feelings were unlikely to change.
The thing is, our brains are wired to repeat the same thoughts and feelings, over and over, day in and day out. In fact, research says that 95% of our thoughts are the exact same as the day before.
This means you need to take conscious (inner) action to shift these repetitive thought loops.
To create something different in your external reality, your inner landscape needs to be a vibrational match with what you want.
Right now you might be thinking, “Yeah but… the whole problem is that I’m stuck. Deep down, I’m not sure if I even believe I can get what I want.”
Without proof of past success, how do you make the internal shift to open yourself up to something altogether new?
One simple way is to get curious.
Ask yourself the question: “I wonder what it would feel like to be in a great relationship?”
Close your eyes and imagine it. Be gentle with yourself as you get curious. Take a moment to contemplate what it might be like to be with the perfect partner for you.
Let yourself experience the emotions of those imaginings.
How might it feel to be in the relationship you want?
At ease, lit up, turned on, joyful, grateful, supported, fulfilled, connected? Something else?
Choose the top three emotions and allow yourself to feel those feelings – let them run through your body. Don’t worry about whether you think you can have it or not.
Simply begin to train your system to be in the feeling state of what it might be like. This starts to shift your internal landscape to match what you want in life.
Now commit to doing this practice every day.
And if you catch yourself not wanting to dream for fear of being disappointed, gently bring yourself back to: “I wonder what it would be like to experience love like that?”
If a relationship isn’t what you’re looking for, you can use this same strategy for living a life of purpose, being in perfect health, having financial freedom, or getting along with your family.
Whatever it is you desire to create in your life – start imagining what it would feel like now from a place of open curiosity.
What do you have to lose? Simply play with childlike curiosity and see what happens…