Align With Love

I just spoke with a former client about her beautiful relationship and she agreed to share her story with you. What I love about M’s story is that she didn’t know right away that J was the one. She took her time, stayed true to herself and explored the relationship before jumping in completely.

M and J’s Love Story (as told to me in her words)

I was the quintessential single lady in New York. I had a great job, a wonderful social life, great girlfriends. But as far as men, I was attracting really handsome, self-absorbed, narcissistic boys who were completely emotionally unavailable. My longest relationship before J had been one year and that was when I was 22. More recently nothing had lasted more than 2 months.

I had done Mama Gena. I had read Calling in the One. But still, the type of man I was attracting wasn’t the kind of man I wanted.

I didn’t know the truth about how the kind of man you’re attracting, how’s that a reflection of what you’re putting out there. It’s totally law of attraction.

I really did want to meet someone but I wasn’t ready to get help to make a change.

Then one day I was talking to a friend who’s with a great guy and I asked her how she met him. She said, “I looked at the women in my field who were a few years older than me and even though they were all successful, they were alone and unhappy. So I decided to make finding love a priority and you need to do the same. You have to send a signal to the universe that you are making it a priority.”

That night I went home and paid for Soulmate School.

I had worked with relationship coaches before you, but I felt that your approach – which really puts roots into the spiritual experience of one’s life and relationship, that resonated really well with me.

You asked me on that first call, “How will you know this is a success? What do you want to happen in this time we’re working together?” I said “I want to spend a couple of months working on whatever issues I need to work on. Then I want to meet someone and have your support for the first couple of months of a new relationship so I can get past whatever I haven’t gotten past before”. I said this and it’s exactly what happened. So whatever special juju you bring to the intention setting helped a lot!

So… I met J when he interviewed me for a job in May of 2011 – I really felt a connection to him during that interview and I thought “wow we are really aligned intellectually” but at that point it was clear he was married so I didn’t think anything of it.

In July I found out that I didn’t get the job. He reached out to me to meet for a coffee and  told me he felt I should’ve gotten the job and that he’d like to introduce me to some contacts that might be helpful.

I told him that I thought we’d had a great connection when we met in the interview and I’ll follow up on these leads, thank you so much. In my head he’s still this married guy. In his head he’s in the middle of a divorce, been separated for 2 years and thinking “this is someone I want to get to know better.” He told me later that he took my comment about the connection during the interview to mean something more. I was just thinking I need to find a job.

J’s contacts never got back to me so I wrote to him a month later and asked for advice.

In September he says let’s meet for coffee again. He’s a partner at a consulting firm, they never make this kind of time for people, so I was like “wow – that’s interesting he’s making a lot of time for me, but he’s married. He’s cute, but he’s married”. So we meet for coffee a second time at that point he shares that he’s getting a divorce. I think I must have had a huge smile on my face when he told me that. We had a nice conversation, but he hadn’t asked me out or anything. I didn’t really think of it.

The next day I went to a beautiful wedding and I came out of that wedding really expecting that love was going to happen for me.

That next week, on the way home from a date with another really interesting guy, I got a beautiful email from J saying “I need a good laugh you probably do too. Would you like to go see The Book of Mormon?” I say sure thinking it’s just a Broadway Show. I really hadn’t heard about it.

I remember smiling to myself that night and knowing it was happening. I didn’t know if I’d met “him” yet but it was happening.

I told a couple of girlfriends about the invite from J and they were all shocked saying “Do you know how hard those tickets are to get? Do you know how expensive they are?” I had no idea. J made it seem really easy. He was like great when do you want to go see it? And he got the tickets right away.

I came to learn afterwards that he used his assistant and a concierge service. They were really expensive tickets and he said later “It was an investment I wanted to make.”

Going in I didn’t think it was a date. J thought it was a date. All my girlfriends thought it was a date. Not til we went to dinner after the show did I realize it was a date.

We got along and enjoyed each other. Then when we got to my house, I was so nervous I jumped out of the car and ran for my doorstep. I didn’t even give him a chance to lean in and try and kiss me.

I invited him to my birthday dinner a few days later and he met all of my friends. That night after dinner he invited me to cook a meal with him that weekend.

That weekend when I went over to cook dinner together it was wonderful and we had our first kiss. He said to me that night “I want to be your boyfriend”. And I said “Oh I don’t know how I feel about that, I think this is too early to make that decision. Let’s date each other for awhile before I can call you my boyfriend.”

It was the confidence, the internal referencing from our work together, that led me to that – realizing “wait I don’t know this guy yet. I want to get to know him. I want to get to know his stories and who he is in the world, how he thinks”.

We spent the whole weekend hanging out. Saturday we went for a walk in central park. Sunday we met up and watched a movie and had dinner together.

A few weeks into dating him I went to help my coaching mentor w/a retreat in Mexico and J was in Singapore for work. So if I wanted to catch him I had to get up in the dark to speak with him on Skype for like just 20 minutes. And I realized that I actually looked forward to getting up really early to talk to him. Also there were lots of handsome men at the retreat and a couple of them were showing interest in me…  And I wasn’t interested at all.

I realized then that I didn’t want to date other men.

I realized I wanted to go deeper with J.

What really got me about J is, he has this quality of listening that’s just really beautiful and quiet and he’s so thoughtful about people in his life.  It was really his thoughtfulness and his presence.

I got a sense of who he really was and I got a sense that he liked who he was.

He told me, after we’d been dating, that he noticed from the beginning, “You have this light about you”. The radiance thing really does work!

Our relationship has this depth to it now that both of us have the feeling that over the long term we are both becoming amazing people through being together.

There’s a respect, we listen to each other AND there’s a real goofy irreverence in our relationship  – we giggle together over stupid jokes and have the same sense of humor which is great.

I knew that he was the one when I realized that I was doing my spiritual work in our relationship. And that’s something I really wanted in my life partnership. Feeling that I could show every side of myself and he receives and loves all of it. And I feel the same about him.

When I saw “wow I am really being forced to grow as a human” then I knew this was my relationship. (I have tears coming as I share this).

And now I’m starting to have friends reflect back to me “I want a relationship like yours. I want what you have.” Which I think is a powerful testament to what we have.

We’ve just moved in together and are making plans for our future and our family. I know without a doubt this is the man I want to marry.

I’m so excited we did this work together Liesel, I don’t think I would have met him and received him without it. Thank you.

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Does this story give you hope? Does it inspire you? What’s your favorite part? Please share with me in the comments below.