We’re told by the media that we need to buy products to make us radiant.

That beauty is only skin deep.

That the right cream, the right clothes, the flat abs, the cellulite free thighs or the injections will make us attractive to men.

Yes, men are visual. Yes, they are attracted to beauty. All types of beauty it turns out.

Yet the one thing that I’ve found in speaking with high caliber men from all over the world is that the MOST important quality that quality men are attracted to is…

a woman’s inner light.

How she carries herself.

How she feels about herself.

Her own inner beauty.

I’ve heard men say over and over that a woman can be physically gorgeous but if she isn’t radiant, if she’s insecure and lacking confidence – she’s no longer attractive to them.

I’ve also heard them say that they have seen women who at first might not be their “type” but when they catch a glimpse of her inner light, her self worth, her love for herself, her inner beauty… she all of sudden becomes very intriguing.

I call this inner beauty Radiance.

Webster’s Dictionary defines the adjective radiant as

1. radiating rays or reflecting beams of light

2. vividly bright and shining: glowing

3. marked by or expressive of love, confidence, or happiness

So… a radiant woman is a woman who is confident, happy and literally glowing with her own love light.

Men are drawn to your inner light. It’s essential for you to shine your light so your man can find you – if you’re hiding he can’t see you.

And guess what? Nothing is more attractive to a man than a woman who knows her own worth.

You’ve got to bring this light, this radiance out to play.

Do you have access to this light?

Yes! EVERY single woman on this planet has access to this radiance.

For some women it’s easy and natural.

And for others, it takes some uncovering. Some excavating – to bring that inner radiance up and out to share. It’s about uncovering the layers that block you from this connection.

It’s about learning to access that inner light.

The irony here is that looking for love can often cause women to be less radiant. When the fear of being alone sets in. When the insecure thoughts and limiting beliefs take over. When you feel like you may never really experience love… then your radiance starts to dim. It’s a Catch 22 and it needs addressing.

So let’s start here.

I want you to imagine yourself as this woman…

A woman who feels completely at ease in her body.

Who is confident in who she really is.

Who hears the voice of insecurity within her and nurtures the vulnerability behind that voice.

A woman who knows that her vulnerability is one of her greatest gifts.

Imagine yourself as this woman. This woman who lights up the hearts of the people around her.

This woman who is quick to laugh, feels exuberant joy, dances when she feels like it, sings aloud for fun.

This woman who is free to share her light with those around her.

This woman who is sexy and magnetic and vibrant and phenomenally attractive

This woman who is in a word… Radiant

This woman is in you. In your heart. You may not believe me yet. But I know that it’s true.

I’ve seen her unleashed in hundreds of women and I’ve seen this radiant woman within change love and lives in the most outstanding ways.

She’s there inside you. She’s just waiting to be discovered.

How to access your inner radiance

Bringing out your radiance is a practice. A cultivation. A permission to stop hiding and let this part of you out to play.

This radiant woman in you needs to be nourished. She needs her cup filled up with joy and laughter. She needs to be given the space to shine.

There are practical ways to do this every day.


There are energetic ways to do this every day

Practical Tips

JOY: Make a list of what nurtures your joy, what makes you feel soft and feminine, what makes you laugh out loud, what excites you, sparks your creativity, brings out the endorphins. Incorporate at least one of these a day.

If you don’t know what brings you joy – go on an exploratory journey to find out.

BODY: Enjoy your body – give yourself a massage, take a long hot bath, dance alone in your living room, sing your favorite songs at the top of your lungs, go for a long walk in nature, allow yourself to play, grab a kid and go to the park – play tag and swing on the swing, play more music that you love – play it while doing things that irritate you. Buy a hula hoop – practice in your backyard to your favorite song. Climb a tree. Hug a tree. Buy yourself flowers. Smell your neighbor’s roses.

ADORNMENT: Go through your closet and get rid of all the things that make you feel frumpy or unattractive. Pay attention to the clothes that you wear when you feel like hiding – let them go. Start to dress in a way that makes you feel happy. That lights you up. Buy sexy lingerie and wear it under your work clothes. Get a new haircut that makes you feel pretty. Do all of this for YOU. To bring out that saucy side, that joyful side, that flirty side. Do it for yourself NOT for a man. Do it to cultivate your radiance.

LOVE: Think of the last time you were really happy and laughing. Remember that moment and let the memory flood you with joy.

Make a list of 5 people/things you love and feel your heart as you think of each one. Let your heart feelings overflow. Let those feelings of love and joy fill your body.

Let your body light up from the inside out. Stay in the good feelings for as long as you can. Notice when you start to come out of it – see if you can stay in even a minute longer.

Energetic Tips

A major key to radiance is learning to access that invisible energy within you. It’s essential to learn to connect yourself to the inner light that is right there for you. The most effective way is to use guided imagery to grow that light.

Below is a meditation I recorded while living in Bali (a place that naturally brings out radiance :-). Listen to it when you are ready to shine. Before a party. Before the date. Before your big presentation at work. It’s a powerful tool and it works.

Practice this tool and see how long you can stay in your radiance before you start to dim your light. And again stay in it longer than you think you can. Stretch yourself into your light.

As Marriane Willamson so beautifully shares in this quote:

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?  

We are here to shine our light. It’s a phenomenal gift. Share it. Light up the world around you. You’ll be happier. Those around you will be happier.

And your Love will be attracted to your light. He’s out there looking for you and when you shine, he can find you.


How did lesson this shift things for you? How was the meditation? Please share your comments.