Align With Love

I have a new love story to share with you today. I love Kit’s perspective about age and the impact it has had on her love life!

Here’s Kit’s story as told to me over the phone.

I’m 61 and I’ve been divorced for quite awhile. For a long time, I wanted to be alone. Then in my meditations I kept hearing, “you don’t need to be alone anymore.”

Several friends recommended e-harmony. So I tried it.

I met someone from Iowa who just ended up being just another version of my narcissistic ex-husband. He needed to always be in charge.

In the families I grew up in, people didn’t respect boundaries. I learned the dynamic that women come second and the men come first, we were subservient. And that’s how it ended up being in my marriage and with this other guy. I played that role, because it was the only role I knew.

In both relationships, I was the co-dependent one, filling them up and getting nothing in return.

Then I had a reading with a psychic and she told me I would find someone to help me with my love issues, and that I would know the person when I came across them. I found you Liesel, on a love summit. When I saw you, I just knew you I were the one to help me.

I did Soulmate School in the Spring of 2014, then we started working together one on one the following September.

When I started Soulmate School, I had zero confidence.

I’m very intuitive, so my intuition was intact, but I had no trust in my emotional state or in my relationships with men. Being in relationships with narcissists had totally messed things up for me. They disavowed me and made me wrong all the time.

After 23 years, I had started to believe everything they’d been telling me.

In Soulmate School, I started to feel like myself again – like there was hope for me.

The meditations, the companionship of other women, your leadership and guidance, it was a total shift.

In our work together, I knew I could trust you to hold the space for me to get to my deepest fears. Especially because the cause of a lot of those fears was unconscious. It was like, “whoa where did that come from?”.

As we healed the fears, my self-assurance grew. My insight grew. I gained confidence as a woman.

I started seeing how good men really are. I felt more possibilities, more opening into who I really was personally. Even though I had always let people see me professionally, I’d been hiding who I was as a woman, because I had been put down by my partners for so long. This work gave me the confidence to bring out my true self.

According to the outer world my age was issue, but I didn’t buy into it. I’d had enough success in meeting men to know that it wasn’t about age. It was all about the energetic aspect of who I was being.

I knew that anybody I pulled into my life, would reflect the patterns I had. Learning to heal the part of me that was hiding my true self made a huge difference. Every time I cleared a pattern that wasn’t me, my relationships and who I was attracting got better.

As I was just being me – the men that were interested increased.

Before Soulmate School, I wasn’t comfortable with who I was so I couldn’t attract the right guy. I dated men who had dynamics a lot like my ex and it never lasted. After Soulmate School, the type of man completely changed.

Learning how to totally love myself made the biggest impact.

I still have a ways to go, and I still waver at times. But loving myself, with all my good points and bad points, and not being afraid to show the real me has been powerful.

Meeting David

I was in a really positive state with myself. I’d broken up with the narcissist from Iowa. I said to myself, I’m just going to out there and keep working at it. I got back on e-harmony, and because I was open energetically, I had a lot of men wanting to connect with me.

I connected with David online just before Christmas 2015, and he was heading out of town.

We texted and talked a lot after the first contact. He shared about his family. He was visiting his grandkids sent me pictures.

Our first date was just after New Years at a wine bar.

It was rainy Friday night. He was sitting there waiting for me, and I couldn’t get my umbrella down. I said, “I’m sorry, I’m really nervous”, and he helped me with my umbrella and said, “it’s ok you don’t need to be nervous.”

We had a glass of wine and started talking. We were both divorced for 10 years. He told me what his life pattern was.

His dad was a minister and he’d started in seminary school, but it didn’t work for him, and so he went to college. After he sold his business, he taught Steven Covey – how to manage people with a positive frame of mind. When I first started in training, I taught Dale Carnegie courses and was successful in that – so there was a big connection there.

The entire time he never said anything negative about anything or anybody. He had this elegance and presence about him. And he was really respectful. I loved the way he handled it when he didn’t like the wine that the waiter brought him. He was super kind.

He walked me to my car and asked, “Can I see you again?” I said, “Of course”, and he reached out and hugged me.

And that was the beginning.

On the way home I went, ‘wow I wonder if this is it?‘. Then, ‘no, no, no, take it one step at a time.’ He texted me on the way home saying what a nice time he had. He asked if I could go out again in 2 weeks because he had to go out of town for work. While he was gone we talked on the phone and texted.

The next date was even better. On the second date he said “How about this relationship is 50/50 where we both give and receive?”. He was ready for a commitment. He asked me if it was okay.

I was in.

He’s so straightforward and so real – with no pretense. He just won my heart. He’s very intuitive and has a way of relating to people that is really special, really respectful. He’s also so aligned with what I find important in life, and I’ve never had anybody treat me so nicely.

Two months after we started dating, he said, “I’m here for you.” No man had ever said that to me before.

I swear, your stuff really works Liesel!

When I’m with him, I feel like myself. I’m totally loving myself just as I am. And I know that heaven forbid this relationship were to end, I would be grateful for just having time with him. That it would be totally okay. I don’t think it’s going to happen, but I would be ok with it. That’s how good I feel around him.

It’s been a year and a half now.

He supports me, and I support him equally. We’re there for each other; we respect each other’s boundaries. He’s totally honest and straight forward, and I wasn’t used to that – I love that.

My life is much brighter. Much more open. I see things more clearly. I can laugh at the past and know that it’s a learning experience, and I’m over it. I feel clear about who I am now.

This relationship makes me smile for no reason. I can just be driving along and remember a silly little thing he does to make me laugh, and I smile. He just lights up my life.

I’m so grateful for the opportunity of Soulmate School and working with you. It changed my life forever. Without that support I don’t believe I’d be where I am today.

– Kit