Clear Your Energetic Blocks to Love

If you haven’t met your partner yet, you may have a powerful energetic block that’s keeping him away…

I know. I had a big one myself.

When I was in my late twenties, the man that I was sure was my soulmate left me.

I was utterly devastated and I couldn’t bear to let him go.

So I continued to ‘live’ in that relationship for another 2 years. I still wore the earrings he gave me, played our songs, read (and reread) his old letters and love poems (God, did he write the best poetry).

Even though I never even spoke to him, energetically, he was still my man.

I held onto him because I was convinced that this was it. My one chance for true love. There was something so special and soulful about our connection… I truly couldn’t believe that I would ever love like that again.

I was totally willing to wait for him and had a fantasy that we would reconnect in 20 years and live happily ever after.

And all that time I was so busy being hung up on the one that got away, I wasn’t open to the possibility that the juiciest relationship was yet to come.

Sound familiar?

Is there a past love out there on the back burner? Someone you find yourself thinking about? An old flame that still holds a piece of your heart?

Or maybe there’s someone you’ve been secretly fantasizing about? Spending time and energy trying to get up the courage to tell him how you feel? Knowing that you two could be perfect together, if only…

Here are some tell tale signs that you are still hung up on an old lover (or fantasy love)

  1. You’re Facebook friends and find yourself checking out every tagged photo of him.
  2. You’ve kept all of his old text messages and emails.
  3. You still get emotional when you hear songs that remind you of him.
  4. You are ‘just friends’ but you hang out all. the. time.
  5. He is still the first person you want to call when you have a success or a sadness.
  6. You secretly hold the hope that he’ll realize you’re the one, break up with her and come back to you.
  7. You casually ‘just happen’ to drive by his house or work on a regular basis.
  8. You still sleep in his t-shirt – you haven’t washed it in months because it stills smells like him.
  9. You feel sick to your stomach when you see him with his new girlfriend.
  10. You deny all of the above to your girlfriends when they call you out.

So does pining for old lovers keep you from making space for a new love?

Yes. I know for a fact that it does.

I know this may be hard for you to hear. It was for me. In a healing session, an intuitive told me I was carrying my ex’s energy and it was time to let it go. I cried and cried. Not wanting to give up my one chance for love – but in the end… I did it.

I cut the cords and cleared his energy out. I took off the earrings and put away the poetry.

Only then did it become clear that, all the time I was hung up on my ex, my husband Craig was right there waiting for me.  We’d known each other for years, but I had been too stuck in the ‘sludge’ of lost love to even see him.

It took energetically letting go of the old love to make space for my husband to come into my life.

Hanging On

When you hang on to past lovers, either consciously or energetically, you tell the Universe that you’re taken. There’s no room for someone new in your life because you’re still ‘in’ the old relationship.

It’s like putting an “occupied” sign on your heart.

Even if you’re in a new relationship now, you’re still ‘energetically cheating’ if you’re holding on to a past flame. You can’t completely surrender to a deep soul connected love if there’s the shadow of an old lover lurking in the corner of your heart.

So do you have an ex, or even a fantasy love, who you still hold a torch for?  One who still plays at your heart?  If your real, true, feel-it-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach answer is ‘yes’, there’s a good chance you’re blocking the love you really want from coming into your life.

Letting go

Here’s what I want you to hear, and to know.

That person who broke your heart was really saying:  ‘This relationship is too small for you. It’s distracting you from finding your soulmate, and I’m releasing you to find that love’.

Letting go can bring up a lot of resistance. We can get caught up in the memories of old relationships, in the happiness we felt, the great sex we had, the deep connection that was there.

Like me, you may feel you had your one chance for love. That it doesn’t get any better. Like you messed up the one and only chance you had for happiness.

That even if you really let this lover go from your life, and from your heart, that the void will be too big to live with.

The fear is: maybe no one else – no one really wonderful – will ever want you.

But the gift is much bigger: When you drop into the void and trust that there’s someone out there who will meet you at your deepest soul level, you give yourself permission to receive a love that will blow your heart wide open.

5 powerful steps to make room for a deep love

Step 1 – Look at how it serves you to stay in this situation

  • get really honest and clear about what you really want or are hoping for. Do you secretly hope he’ll break up with her and come back to you? Are you putting your life on hold waiting for him to realize you’re the right one for him? Have you spent years trying to get up the courage to tell him how you feel? Are you open to new guys or do you find yourself comparing them to him?

Step 2 – Take physical action to let him go

(I know this is hard – I’ve done it)

  • unfollow him on all social media
  • delete the old text messages and emails
  • take down the photos, put away the love letters, give away his old t-shirt

Step 3 – Create a ceremony or a ritual

  • Light a candle. Write him a letter telling him you are letting him go and then burn the letter and release him once and for all.

Step 4 – Energetically clear him out of your space  

  • Use the meditation below. Do it as often as you need to until it feels neutral and clear. This may take a little while. That’s ok. Be gentle with yourself and know that with each clearing you are making room for the right one.

Step 5 – Trust and Kindness

  • Practice giving yourself the love that you’re ready to have from a partner
  • Be gentle and kind to the most important person in your life… YOU
  • Allow yourself to trust the Universe, to know that you are as worthy of love as every other being on this planet.


It is possible for YOU to have deep and lasting love.

But first you have to let go.

Meditation – Call Your Energy Off of Your Old Lover


Use this meditation with all of your past lovers whether you still think about them or not. It will free up all the space you need for your soulmate to come into your life.